SHE'S HERE!!! FINALLY!!!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
She's here!! (part 2)
So, now its 5:30 or so and we decide that its time to take a walk up to the drugstore to get the final things. I'm pretty sure it was during that walk that things started really progressing for us. I had already called my doula and another doula friend and they were on their way, and another friend was coming over to pick up the dogs for us. While in the drugstore I got a pretty strong and long contraction and had to actually kneel down in the store. I cried. We got our stuff and we paid and made our way, slowly, back home. We were almost home when we found out that both the doulas and our friends were already at our house waiting for us. We were less than 2 minutes away from the house when Salli called me to find out how I was doing. She called right as I was getting another contraction that brought me to tears. Ellie and Tom kept walking as that's what I suggested they do, and I lingered behind, talking to Salli on the phone and dealing with my contraction the best I could... walking uphill... We decided that I would talk to Lisa, one of my doulas before deciding whether or not it was time for Salli to make her way to the house.
Its roughly 7 o'clock pm now, and the dogs are gone, all the people that needed to be at my house (excluding Salli) were here, and things were getting pretty heavy. My contractions were about 3o-45 seconds long, occurring every two minutes. I remember thinking that it was insane how they hurt so much, but then I felt just fine once they were gone. I was able to hold conversations and make jokes... things were settling in, but weren't quite hard yet. I can't remember who, but during one of my contractions, one of the doulas suggested I get into the shower to see if that would help. I did, and it did. It was nice to just let the hot water run over me. Tom staying in the bathroom while I took my shower to help me deal with the contractions if I needed him. For the most part, I would just lean against the shower wall and let everything loose and just moan with the contraction.
**From this point on, I honestly cannot tell you any times. I have no perception of the times that any of the following things happened.**
The shower also seemed to make my contractions stronger so I decided for the time being I wanted out. I put on my birthing dress, and started pacing around the house with Ellie. With every contraction I had I would moan, and Ellie would say, "its okay mommy. Just sing to the baby." I look back on it now and think about how sweet it was of her. She really was trying to help me. BUT... she also thought that after every contraction the baby would be out. She would look under my dress and see if she could see her. Being a 4 year old, I can understand her logic. I knew she was getting impatient with the whole process and I was worried about how she would react once things really started getting heated. I asked if she wanted to wait around the house with me for the baby or would she rather go to a friend's house and spend the night and meet her sister tomorrow? Without any hesitation, she said she'd rather go to the friends house. I asked one of the people at my house to drive her there.
Now that I didn't have to worry about scaring Ellie, I really started letting out the moaning and groaning. Also, my back labor started and it was horrible. At one point, I was double peaking, and bless my husband, he stayed with me and did every thing I asked him. The doulas were there offering support and a lending hand to Tom if he needed it. The pain was horrible and I swore I was transitioning, and that was what helped me deal with it. I kept telling myself I was getting closer. It was worth it. I knew I could deal with these with my husband there supporting me.
Finally the birthing tub was ready, and honestly, it was nice, but I was expecting more... until I finally got that one contraction, and got that perfect amount of counter pressure, and honestly, it felt like the contraction just went away. It was amazing! That didn't happen for all of them, but for the few of them it did that to, I would definitely use some sort of birthing pool again! Tom had put his swim trunks on and was with me as long as I needed him. A few times I felt like I needed to throw up, but every time, I just had to cough. And then the need to push happened. Salli told me to do whatever my body told me to do. And I did. I was pushing with the contractions, and it really helped....
Except I wasn't ready. Salli realized that I wasn't PUSHING pushing. She came over and did an internal, and I got the most debilitating news. I was only 5-6cm. I was crushed. I thought there was no way I could go through an actual transition if what happened on the couch WASN'T my transition. I gave up. I felt it. I was getting breaks in between my contractions now, and during those breaks I was able to fall half asleep. Once the contraction happened though, they seemed so horrible, and I know now that it was because I was fighting them, not working with them as I had before. Twice I asked to be taken to the hospital.
On the second time, everyone believed that I meant it. I honestly felt like there was no way I could keep going. Everyone tried their best to talk me out of it, saying how close I was to having Amelia. How if I went to the hospital I would have a c-section. How I'd still have to deal with contractions all the way there, in a car no less. I didn't care. I couldn't keep doing what I was doing.
I mentioned earlier that we weren't prepared for this birth. I meant it. We didn't have a diaper bag. We didn't have anything picked out just in case a transport was necessary. So everyone was rushing around the house getting things together. They kept asking me questions about preferences and all I can remember saying is "I don't care!" The pool was being drained while all of this was going on, and I was in my bedroom, not dealing with my contractions. Once I got the go ahead that everything was packed up I rushed out the door... only to find that we couldn't find the car keys. Grrrrrr! I had a neighbor outside that could see us all rushing out, and I'm yelling, "I need in the car. I need to go! Tom, we'll take your f-in car!" I was beyond reasoning and um, civilities. I was waiting by Tom's car when I saw the lights of my car flicker on letting me know that Tom had found my keys and had opened the door. Bethany, the other doula was already clearing out the backseat as I'm yelling at her to just let me in, I needed in. I crawled in on hands and knees, and this is when it got interesting...
I immediately started pushing. Yep. There was no holding back. I was taken aback by the pain and pressure of needing to push that I couldn't resist it. My poor neighbors heard it all. They yelled to get the Salli over there and at some point she did an internal, and sure enough, Amelia was almost all the way down. I had them all telling me I was going to have the baby in the car if I didn't move and move fast. Of course, when they were telling me this I couldn't move!
As soon as the contraction let up, Tom opened up the door and we were rushing inside. I could already feel something starting up again, and I knew it was going to be fast. I had no idea where to go because the pool was already almost completely drained. Salli told me to go to my bedroom where things were already set up. Once the pads were in place and my underwear was off, I instinctively went to my hands and knees. I started pushing again and Tom was right there by my side. The only comparison I can make to what I sounded like as I was pushing was the scream from "the princess bride" when wesley was being tortured by the six fingered man. With this second contraction, I could feel the "ring of fire" and I remember saying how much it burned. I don't remember getting any guidance about slowing down and stopping or anything. I was just doing whatever my body told me to do. Apparently this was when Amelia was crowning. With the next contraction, I pushed and almost immediately felt this immense release of pressure... because I had just birthed her head. I was so scared to ask if that was what that was because I was so scared someone was going to tell me no. Between that contraction and the next it seemed as though there were a huge time gap. I have no idea how long I rested, but I welcomed it. With the fourth contraction, I pushed, and Amelia was born. :) Our midwife had just recently broken her arm so she couldn't catch Amelia, and I remember her telling Tom, "Catch her!" It was amazing. It was done! I had just had a vaginal birth in my own home. I don't know who told me, but someone told me to reach down and hold my baby, which of course I did.
Tom was so important to me in all of this. I had my apprehensions about how Tom would handle my labor, and he proved me wrong every which way. He did exactly what I asked him to. He constantly supported me through the whole thing. He made sure I knew how proud of me he was. This whole process changed my vision of him. I love him so much more. Our family has forever been changed because of this birth. I no longer have to fear pregnancy because of a c-section I had. I have proven that I am no broken. Tom has proven that he is here for me in every way he can be.
Its roughly 7 o'clock pm now, and the dogs are gone, all the people that needed to be at my house (excluding Salli) were here, and things were getting pretty heavy. My contractions were about 3o-45 seconds long, occurring every two minutes. I remember thinking that it was insane how they hurt so much, but then I felt just fine once they were gone. I was able to hold conversations and make jokes... things were settling in, but weren't quite hard yet. I can't remember who, but during one of my contractions, one of the doulas suggested I get into the shower to see if that would help. I did, and it did. It was nice to just let the hot water run over me. Tom staying in the bathroom while I took my shower to help me deal with the contractions if I needed him. For the most part, I would just lean against the shower wall and let everything loose and just moan with the contraction.
**From this point on, I honestly cannot tell you any times. I have no perception of the times that any of the following things happened.**
The shower also seemed to make my contractions stronger so I decided for the time being I wanted out. I put on my birthing dress, and started pacing around the house with Ellie. With every contraction I had I would moan, and Ellie would say, "its okay mommy. Just sing to the baby." I look back on it now and think about how sweet it was of her. She really was trying to help me. BUT... she also thought that after every contraction the baby would be out. She would look under my dress and see if she could see her. Being a 4 year old, I can understand her logic. I knew she was getting impatient with the whole process and I was worried about how she would react once things really started getting heated. I asked if she wanted to wait around the house with me for the baby or would she rather go to a friend's house and spend the night and meet her sister tomorrow? Without any hesitation, she said she'd rather go to the friends house. I asked one of the people at my house to drive her there.
Now that I didn't have to worry about scaring Ellie, I really started letting out the moaning and groaning. Also, my back labor started and it was horrible. At one point, I was double peaking, and bless my husband, he stayed with me and did every thing I asked him. The doulas were there offering support and a lending hand to Tom if he needed it. The pain was horrible and I swore I was transitioning, and that was what helped me deal with it. I kept telling myself I was getting closer. It was worth it. I knew I could deal with these with my husband there supporting me.
Finally the birthing tub was ready, and honestly, it was nice, but I was expecting more... until I finally got that one contraction, and got that perfect amount of counter pressure, and honestly, it felt like the contraction just went away. It was amazing! That didn't happen for all of them, but for the few of them it did that to, I would definitely use some sort of birthing pool again! Tom had put his swim trunks on and was with me as long as I needed him. A few times I felt like I needed to throw up, but every time, I just had to cough. And then the need to push happened. Salli told me to do whatever my body told me to do. And I did. I was pushing with the contractions, and it really helped....
Except I wasn't ready. Salli realized that I wasn't PUSHING pushing. She came over and did an internal, and I got the most debilitating news. I was only 5-6cm. I was crushed. I thought there was no way I could go through an actual transition if what happened on the couch WASN'T my transition. I gave up. I felt it. I was getting breaks in between my contractions now, and during those breaks I was able to fall half asleep. Once the contraction happened though, they seemed so horrible, and I know now that it was because I was fighting them, not working with them as I had before. Twice I asked to be taken to the hospital.
On the second time, everyone believed that I meant it. I honestly felt like there was no way I could keep going. Everyone tried their best to talk me out of it, saying how close I was to having Amelia. How if I went to the hospital I would have a c-section. How I'd still have to deal with contractions all the way there, in a car no less. I didn't care. I couldn't keep doing what I was doing.
I mentioned earlier that we weren't prepared for this birth. I meant it. We didn't have a diaper bag. We didn't have anything picked out just in case a transport was necessary. So everyone was rushing around the house getting things together. They kept asking me questions about preferences and all I can remember saying is "I don't care!" The pool was being drained while all of this was going on, and I was in my bedroom, not dealing with my contractions. Once I got the go ahead that everything was packed up I rushed out the door... only to find that we couldn't find the car keys. Grrrrrr! I had a neighbor outside that could see us all rushing out, and I'm yelling, "I need in the car. I need to go! Tom, we'll take your f-in car!" I was beyond reasoning and um, civilities. I was waiting by Tom's car when I saw the lights of my car flicker on letting me know that Tom had found my keys and had opened the door. Bethany, the other doula was already clearing out the backseat as I'm yelling at her to just let me in, I needed in. I crawled in on hands and knees, and this is when it got interesting...
I immediately started pushing. Yep. There was no holding back. I was taken aback by the pain and pressure of needing to push that I couldn't resist it. My poor neighbors heard it all. They yelled to get the Salli over there and at some point she did an internal, and sure enough, Amelia was almost all the way down. I had them all telling me I was going to have the baby in the car if I didn't move and move fast. Of course, when they were telling me this I couldn't move!
As soon as the contraction let up, Tom opened up the door and we were rushing inside. I could already feel something starting up again, and I knew it was going to be fast. I had no idea where to go because the pool was already almost completely drained. Salli told me to go to my bedroom where things were already set up. Once the pads were in place and my underwear was off, I instinctively went to my hands and knees. I started pushing again and Tom was right there by my side. The only comparison I can make to what I sounded like as I was pushing was the scream from "the princess bride" when wesley was being tortured by the six fingered man. With this second contraction, I could feel the "ring of fire" and I remember saying how much it burned. I don't remember getting any guidance about slowing down and stopping or anything. I was just doing whatever my body told me to do. Apparently this was when Amelia was crowning. With the next contraction, I pushed and almost immediately felt this immense release of pressure... because I had just birthed her head. I was so scared to ask if that was what that was because I was so scared someone was going to tell me no. Between that contraction and the next it seemed as though there were a huge time gap. I have no idea how long I rested, but I welcomed it. With the fourth contraction, I pushed, and Amelia was born. :) Our midwife had just recently broken her arm so she couldn't catch Amelia, and I remember her telling Tom, "Catch her!" It was amazing. It was done! I had just had a vaginal birth in my own home. I don't know who told me, but someone told me to reach down and hold my baby, which of course I did.
Tom was so important to me in all of this. I had my apprehensions about how Tom would handle my labor, and he proved me wrong every which way. He did exactly what I asked him to. He constantly supported me through the whole thing. He made sure I knew how proud of me he was. This whole process changed my vision of him. I love him so much more. Our family has forever been changed because of this birth. I no longer have to fear pregnancy because of a c-section I had. I have proven that I am no broken. Tom has proven that he is here for me in every way he can be.
She's here!! (part 1)
At 11:48pm on March 21st, we were able to welcome our second little girl into this world! She was a little less than a month earlier than planned, but she came out looking and acting perfect! She didn't need any respiratory assistance or anything, and was nursing like a champ shortly after birth. For those of you who want to read it, here is her story.
For the past few weeks, I had been getting more and more anxious to get Amelia out! I was miserable. My back hurt, my legs hurt, my knees hurt... I was feeling things in places I didn't even know existed. This past week, I had noticed my body was going through a sort of "cleansing" process... and I just assumed it was from something I ate. Nope, it was my body getting ready. When I got pregnant with Ellie, she would ask me when the baby would be here. To keep things simple, I would tell her when it was spring. First official day of spring? March 20th. Earlier this week, I was telling people I know longer cared about my schedule, I was ready to have her. She could come out whenever she felt ready... She took that a little too literally.
I was having my weekly coffee with my dear friend yesterday morning. I was having what I thought were my normal braxton hicks contractions, which I had been getting a little more frequently as her due date was nearing. Only difference with these were that they were immediately followed by really low, menstrual like cramps. Nothing was timeable, so I just let it go as nothing. In my head, I knew I still have a few more weeks to go because Ellie was 39 weeks and that was WITHOUT labor. Anyway, we decide to go look at stores for little things and decide to take one car instead of two. As soon as I sat down in her car, I felt a lot wetter than I had before. I mean, A LOT wetter. We were heading to Babies R Us, so I told her I needed to check things out before we really went shopping. Sure enough, my water had broken, at roughly 10am and I was also having the start of my bloody show. I felt like crying right then and there. I knew that having her before my 37th week might mean a trip to the hospital instead of a homebirth like we had been planning for so long.
I called Salli, my midwife, and since I already had my regular appt scheduled for that day, I would go in as normal and she would check things out. I called Tom right after and let him know what was going on. He was able to get off work and come to the appt with me. Salli confirmed that my water had in fact broken, but told me that it could still be a couple of days before anything really started happening. She also told me that if I was comfortable with it, she was more than willing to follow through with our original plan of a homebirth.
We left thinking, holy shit, we're not ready. And we weren't. We didn't have any of the stuff on the birthing list for a home. I had all sorts of papers to write for school. Her co-sleeper still needed to be cleaned. The house needed to be cleaned. The list went on and on in my head. So, the first thing we did was got Tom's boss's approval for him to stay out the rest of the day and help me get things in order for the impending birth. Then, a trip to walmart and costco. While we were walking around I noticed that the braxton hicks contraction feeling wasn't coming anymore, but the menstrual cramp feeling was, and was getting stronger. I still kept thinking we had time to get things in order, at least somewhat.
After the shopping, Tom went to pick up Ellie and I headed home to start cleaning and getting ready. This was around 4:30pm... At around 5:15, labor started picking up...
For the past few weeks, I had been getting more and more anxious to get Amelia out! I was miserable. My back hurt, my legs hurt, my knees hurt... I was feeling things in places I didn't even know existed. This past week, I had noticed my body was going through a sort of "cleansing" process... and I just assumed it was from something I ate. Nope, it was my body getting ready. When I got pregnant with Ellie, she would ask me when the baby would be here. To keep things simple, I would tell her when it was spring. First official day of spring? March 20th. Earlier this week, I was telling people I know longer cared about my schedule, I was ready to have her. She could come out whenever she felt ready... She took that a little too literally.
I was having my weekly coffee with my dear friend yesterday morning. I was having what I thought were my normal braxton hicks contractions, which I had been getting a little more frequently as her due date was nearing. Only difference with these were that they were immediately followed by really low, menstrual like cramps. Nothing was timeable, so I just let it go as nothing. In my head, I knew I still have a few more weeks to go because Ellie was 39 weeks and that was WITHOUT labor. Anyway, we decide to go look at stores for little things and decide to take one car instead of two. As soon as I sat down in her car, I felt a lot wetter than I had before. I mean, A LOT wetter. We were heading to Babies R Us, so I told her I needed to check things out before we really went shopping. Sure enough, my water had broken, at roughly 10am and I was also having the start of my bloody show. I felt like crying right then and there. I knew that having her before my 37th week might mean a trip to the hospital instead of a homebirth like we had been planning for so long.
I called Salli, my midwife, and since I already had my regular appt scheduled for that day, I would go in as normal and she would check things out. I called Tom right after and let him know what was going on. He was able to get off work and come to the appt with me. Salli confirmed that my water had in fact broken, but told me that it could still be a couple of days before anything really started happening. She also told me that if I was comfortable with it, she was more than willing to follow through with our original plan of a homebirth.
We left thinking, holy shit, we're not ready. And we weren't. We didn't have any of the stuff on the birthing list for a home. I had all sorts of papers to write for school. Her co-sleeper still needed to be cleaned. The house needed to be cleaned. The list went on and on in my head. So, the first thing we did was got Tom's boss's approval for him to stay out the rest of the day and help me get things in order for the impending birth. Then, a trip to walmart and costco. While we were walking around I noticed that the braxton hicks contraction feeling wasn't coming anymore, but the menstrual cramp feeling was, and was getting stronger. I still kept thinking we had time to get things in order, at least somewhat.
After the shopping, Tom went to pick up Ellie and I headed home to start cleaning and getting ready. This was around 4:30pm... At around 5:15, labor started picking up...
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Here Comes Another One...
deployment that is.
Yes. We are gearing up for another year long deployment in the fall. We've known for quite a while now that this was something that was a huge possibility for us, and we were doing everything within our power to get us moved to another area. But, no luck. So Tom will be going on deployment number 3 in less than 6 years... I guess that's army life right?
We've already told Ellie, and although she doesn't want him to go, she's excited about something else that was caused by this deployment. Ellie, the baby and I will all be moving back up to Maryland for the duration of this deployment. There are some complications involved, i.e. Ellie will be in school at this point, but we're figuring all that out now before it really becomes an issue. It'll be good for the three of us to be close to family, and hopefully a wanted distraction from the loneliness that ensues from being the spouse of a deployed soldier.
Part of me feels like I should be used to this by now. With Tom spending so much time away, you'd think it would get easier. I can say right here and now, I honestly think each deployment gets harder. It seems that after every deployment, Tom and I have gotten closer together and endured so much, that I hate seeing him go. We've still got a number of months ahead of us before this really becomes an issue, but facing the inevitable is the only way I know how to deal with this.
He'll miss another year of his children's lives. He'll miss having the companionship of someone other than another soldier. He'll miss his family in Washington even more than he does already. He'll miss my nagging over all the little things... well, maybe he won't miss that part. ;)
I've done a deployment where I've stayed with my parents before, and I've done a deployment where I've done it on my own. The atmosphere here makes it impossible for me to stay here. I don't want to deal with the bickering and gossip that happens amongst military wives when their husbands are gone. I don't want to deal with worrying that someone is going to break into my home since they know a man isn't around. I don't want to deal with the Texas HEAT! And yes, there is a part of me that would really like the help when it comes to being with two little ones... But honestly, that's just a perk.
There will be more to post as the time gets closer. Right now, our little family is gearing up for Amelia's birth, which could be any day now, or 6 weeks from now... depending on how cozy she is in there!
Yes. We are gearing up for another year long deployment in the fall. We've known for quite a while now that this was something that was a huge possibility for us, and we were doing everything within our power to get us moved to another area. But, no luck. So Tom will be going on deployment number 3 in less than 6 years... I guess that's army life right?
We've already told Ellie, and although she doesn't want him to go, she's excited about something else that was caused by this deployment. Ellie, the baby and I will all be moving back up to Maryland for the duration of this deployment. There are some complications involved, i.e. Ellie will be in school at this point, but we're figuring all that out now before it really becomes an issue. It'll be good for the three of us to be close to family, and hopefully a wanted distraction from the loneliness that ensues from being the spouse of a deployed soldier.
Part of me feels like I should be used to this by now. With Tom spending so much time away, you'd think it would get easier. I can say right here and now, I honestly think each deployment gets harder. It seems that after every deployment, Tom and I have gotten closer together and endured so much, that I hate seeing him go. We've still got a number of months ahead of us before this really becomes an issue, but facing the inevitable is the only way I know how to deal with this.
He'll miss another year of his children's lives. He'll miss having the companionship of someone other than another soldier. He'll miss his family in Washington even more than he does already. He'll miss my nagging over all the little things... well, maybe he won't miss that part. ;)
I've done a deployment where I've stayed with my parents before, and I've done a deployment where I've done it on my own. The atmosphere here makes it impossible for me to stay here. I don't want to deal with the bickering and gossip that happens amongst military wives when their husbands are gone. I don't want to deal with worrying that someone is going to break into my home since they know a man isn't around. I don't want to deal with the Texas HEAT! And yes, there is a part of me that would really like the help when it comes to being with two little ones... But honestly, that's just a perk.
There will be more to post as the time gets closer. Right now, our little family is gearing up for Amelia's birth, which could be any day now, or 6 weeks from now... depending on how cozy she is in there!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
My Own Fears
I decided that now's as good a time as any to get some of my fears out in the open... facing them, if you will. Before I get into that though, I thought I'd share how life's been for the past couple of weeks.
School is starting for me next week and I'm anxious and excited all at once. I've had a number of people ask me why I didn't take this semester off, and honestly, I know me. I know if I stop, it'll be another year or two to pick it up, and I'm only 14 (possibly 16) credits away from my associates degree. Why would I stop? Oh yea, needing to deliver a baby and all that jazz. Yes, that would stop a normal person. I'm not normal. I like difficult. LOL We'll just call it a challenge. Honestly though, I thought long and hard, and involved Tom immensely in this decision. Of my four teachers, three of them I had last semester, and I even included them in this decision. I've scheduled my classes to miss as few as possible once the baby comes, and I have already arranged to have someone help me with her while I'm in class, finishing up the semester. I'm going to be dog-tired, but it'll ALL be worth it in the end.
I do have some unfortunate news to relay. Tom's grandmother, Betty Hill, passed away only a few days after we left Washington. Tom is dealing with her death in his own way. We haven't told Ellie yet, and it's mainly because we don't really know how to, and we don't know how to answer her questions yet. Ellie and I will not be able to attend her memorial, but we're hoping Tom is at least able to go. She was an absolutely wonderful woman and I feel honored to have spent what time I did spend with her.
Hmmm, what else before the fears??? Oh! We picked a name for our little girl. Amelia Jane, Amy for short. I feel bad for Tom though. He was dead set on Samantha Paige, and then he basically had the name chosen for him. After a little 'conference' with his parents and me, he started to think that Amelia is a very nice name too! Of course, he says he likes the name now!
I'm not going to go into much detail about my fears right now, I just want them out there. These are just the top three, and they are in the order that I fear them... Feel free to comment as you will...
1. I won't have the stamina it takes to endure labor
2. Something will go wrong
3. Tom will not be here
School is starting for me next week and I'm anxious and excited all at once. I've had a number of people ask me why I didn't take this semester off, and honestly, I know me. I know if I stop, it'll be another year or two to pick it up, and I'm only 14 (possibly 16) credits away from my associates degree. Why would I stop? Oh yea, needing to deliver a baby and all that jazz. Yes, that would stop a normal person. I'm not normal. I like difficult. LOL We'll just call it a challenge. Honestly though, I thought long and hard, and involved Tom immensely in this decision. Of my four teachers, three of them I had last semester, and I even included them in this decision. I've scheduled my classes to miss as few as possible once the baby comes, and I have already arranged to have someone help me with her while I'm in class, finishing up the semester. I'm going to be dog-tired, but it'll ALL be worth it in the end.
I do have some unfortunate news to relay. Tom's grandmother, Betty Hill, passed away only a few days after we left Washington. Tom is dealing with her death in his own way. We haven't told Ellie yet, and it's mainly because we don't really know how to, and we don't know how to answer her questions yet. Ellie and I will not be able to attend her memorial, but we're hoping Tom is at least able to go. She was an absolutely wonderful woman and I feel honored to have spent what time I did spend with her.
Hmmm, what else before the fears??? Oh! We picked a name for our little girl. Amelia Jane, Amy for short. I feel bad for Tom though. He was dead set on Samantha Paige, and then he basically had the name chosen for him. After a little 'conference' with his parents and me, he started to think that Amelia is a very nice name too! Of course, he says he likes the name now!
I'm not going to go into much detail about my fears right now, I just want them out there. These are just the top three, and they are in the order that I fear them... Feel free to comment as you will...
1. I won't have the stamina it takes to endure labor
2. Something will go wrong
3. Tom will not be here
Friday, December 16, 2011
Germs at Home
Twist. Turn. Punch. Wiggle wiggle wiggle! This little girl is one active baby. Honestly, the only time I don't feel her moving is when I'm sleeping, although I know she's moving then too because I feel her as soon as I wake up to pee! LOL I'm hoping she does sleep at some point otherwise those first few months are gonna be some LOOOOONG months!
I found this article and wanted to share an excerpt from it, although you can click the link and read the entire article if you'd like:
Normal Household Germs Do Not Affect Mother or Baby
Myth #4 — A hospital is a more sanitary place to have a baby than at home.
Childbed fever killed thousands of women in the 19th century — about the time physicians, who also cared for the ill and dying, began to attend births in clinics. As hospitals became the places to go for birth and death, infections became a plague upon childbearing women and other hospital patients.
About 100 years ago, in Austria, a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis attempted to lower the number of maternal deaths from infections — as high as 40 percent of those delivering at the Vienna maternity hospital.[1]
Semmelweis discovered that simply by washing their hands between performing autopsies and attending births, the rate of infections caused by doctors dropped dramatically. Semmelweis was ridiculed by his colleagues, and it wasn't until five years after his death that his findings began to gain acceptance. With the advent of aseptic technique in the late 1800s and the development of antibiotics in the 1940s, gradual improvement was seen. [Ed. — As antibiotic-resistant bacteria have evolved so that they are unaffected by antibiotics, it can be expected that this trend will be reversed, and we can expect to see an increase in deaths from hospital-acquired infections.]
In the 1930s, studies in New York City and Memphis, Tennessee, show that fewer women died from infections and hemorrhage during homebirths than died from the same complications in the hospital.[2]
Today, strict and expensive infection control procedures have still not eliminated nosocomial, or hospital-caused infections from common and dangerous organisms, like resistant strains of staphylococcus.
According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, the nation's hospital-regulating agency, The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Health Care Organizations, is failing to enforce infection control standards — compromising the health of hospital patients: "The Joint Commission allows dangers to health and safety to go uncorrected for weeks, months and even years. Sloppy, irresponsible hospitals have little to fear from the Commission: punishment in recent years has been nearly nonexistent."[3]
Each family becomes accustomed to its own household germs and develops a resistance to them. Since fewer strangers are likely to be present at a homebirth than at a hospital birth, the chances of acquiring foreign germs are less likely in a homebirth situation.
Every effort is made to provide a clean environment at homebirths. Midwives and homebirth doctors wear sterile gloves and use sterilized instruments for cutting the umbilical cord.
Homebirth research studies indicate much lower rates of infection in the mother and the baby than is likely in the hospital. In a 10-year study (1970-1980) of 1,200 births at the Farm in Summertown, Tennessee, 39 mothers suffered postpartum infections, and only one baby developed septicemia.[4]
Calling the hospital nursery a cradle of germs, Dr. Marsden Wagner, European Director of the World Health Organization, warned doctors at an international medical conference in Jerusalem in the spring of 1989 that hospital births endanger mothers and babies primarily because of impersonal procedures and overuse of technology and drugs.[5]
The Birth Gazette, Fall, 1987, review of The Cry and The Covenant, p. 32-33.
The Five Standards of Safe Childbearing, 1981, Stewart, p. 240-241.
The Wall Street Journal, Oct. 12, 1988.
The Five Standards of Safe Childbearing, 1981, Stewart, p. 127.
Mothering, Oct/Nov/Dec, 1989.
I found this article and wanted to share an excerpt from it, although you can click the link and read the entire article if you'd like:
Normal Household Germs Do Not Affect Mother or Baby
Myth #4 — A hospital is a more sanitary place to have a baby than at home.
Childbed fever killed thousands of women in the 19th century — about the time physicians, who also cared for the ill and dying, began to attend births in clinics. As hospitals became the places to go for birth and death, infections became a plague upon childbearing women and other hospital patients.
About 100 years ago, in Austria, a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis attempted to lower the number of maternal deaths from infections — as high as 40 percent of those delivering at the Vienna maternity hospital.[1]
Semmelweis discovered that simply by washing their hands between performing autopsies and attending births, the rate of infections caused by doctors dropped dramatically. Semmelweis was ridiculed by his colleagues, and it wasn't until five years after his death that his findings began to gain acceptance. With the advent of aseptic technique in the late 1800s and the development of antibiotics in the 1940s, gradual improvement was seen. [Ed. — As antibiotic-resistant bacteria have evolved so that they are unaffected by antibiotics, it can be expected that this trend will be reversed, and we can expect to see an increase in deaths from hospital-acquired infections.]
In the 1930s, studies in New York City and Memphis, Tennessee, show that fewer women died from infections and hemorrhage during homebirths than died from the same complications in the hospital.[2]
Today, strict and expensive infection control procedures have still not eliminated nosocomial, or hospital-caused infections from common and dangerous organisms, like resistant strains of staphylococcus.
According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, the nation's hospital-regulating agency, The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Health Care Organizations, is failing to enforce infection control standards — compromising the health of hospital patients: "The Joint Commission allows dangers to health and safety to go uncorrected for weeks, months and even years. Sloppy, irresponsible hospitals have little to fear from the Commission: punishment in recent years has been nearly nonexistent."[3]
Each family becomes accustomed to its own household germs and develops a resistance to them. Since fewer strangers are likely to be present at a homebirth than at a hospital birth, the chances of acquiring foreign germs are less likely in a homebirth situation.
Every effort is made to provide a clean environment at homebirths. Midwives and homebirth doctors wear sterile gloves and use sterilized instruments for cutting the umbilical cord.
Homebirth research studies indicate much lower rates of infection in the mother and the baby than is likely in the hospital. In a 10-year study (1970-1980) of 1,200 births at the Farm in Summertown, Tennessee, 39 mothers suffered postpartum infections, and only one baby developed septicemia.[4]
Calling the hospital nursery a cradle of germs, Dr. Marsden Wagner, European Director of the World Health Organization, warned doctors at an international medical conference in Jerusalem in the spring of 1989 that hospital births endanger mothers and babies primarily because of impersonal procedures and overuse of technology and drugs.[5]
The Birth Gazette, Fall, 1987, review of The Cry and The Covenant, p. 32-33.
The Five Standards of Safe Childbearing, 1981, Stewart, p. 240-241.
The Wall Street Journal, Oct. 12, 1988.
The Five Standards of Safe Childbearing, 1981, Stewart, p. 127.
Mothering, Oct/Nov/Dec, 1989.
Monday, December 12, 2011
22 weeks
Well, um, I've got no excuse now. I'm out of school (for the holiday), and thankfully I passed all of my classes with a B or higher. Come Wednesday, I will be on a flight with Ellie to Sammamish, Washington to spend the holiday with Tom's family. Tom will be flying in the following Monday since his unit only approved a certain time-frame for the entire unit's block leave. We're kinda used to rearranging our schedule by now. We took our Christmas picture a couple of weeks ago and although I'm not a fan of ANY picture of me right now, the picture we kept of Ellie is adorable. I wish I could remember everything that was happening since my last post, but honestly, my brain is completely frazzled at the moment.
Ellie is doing great in school, and depending on what happens with Tom PCSing or not (we're really hoping he does), we may have her tested to start Kindergarten early. Her biggest problems are (1) cutting a straight line and (2) keeping her focus when other kids are talking. If we move, I'm not positive we'll worry about school simply because it just may be too much for her all at one time, but we'll see where the road takes us.
Tom is still Tom. LOL Nothing changes with him! We're hoping that within the next six months or so we'll be getting orders to leave San Antonio, but we're not really counting on it. Other than that, nothing much as happened with him.
Onto news about the pregnancy. For those of you who haven't already heard, we found out that we're having another little girl! We're both really excited about this, even if we can't agree on a name. I will be posting a poll to see what name everyone likes best, but
I honestly don't think we're going to pick out a name until she's born... that's how torn we are with the names. Things have definitely leveled out as far as how I'm feeling. I'm still sore, but that's to be expected. I have also found that I am no where near as hungry as I was at the beginning of this trimester, so I'm hoping the weight gain starts slowing down a bit.
Other big news about the pregnancy is that we officially hired a midwife to deliver this baby... at home! That's right. We are having this little girl in the comforts of our own home. Our midwife's name is Salli Gonzalez and her website is Empowerment Birthing. There is a lot of information to view if you want to check it out. If we lived farther away from a hospital in the event of an emergency I'd probably not be as comfortable with our choice to have a home birth, but honestly I'm not worried. I know to some it seems new age to have your child at home, and for a long time, that was how I felt too. Now... it feels like the best option and most natural way to have this baby. There will be a birthing pool in the event that I choose to deliver in the tub, or even just as a source of pain relief. I asked a lot of questions about how to prepare Ellie, and what to do about our animals, and the germs in the house, and how to clean before the baby gets here, and what vaccinations I'm going to need, and the list goes on and on. In a nutshell, I'm in good hands. I will go into more detail in the coming weeks, with articles included to help back up what's
being said, and hopefully help people see that I'm not absolutely crazy! LOL
I was reading an article on NPR about giving birth at home, and this is one of the quotes from the midwife that I love:
"People talk about how painful contractions are because they're so strong. But what we want woman to know is that the strength of that contraction is the strength of their own bodies. They are as strong as the contraction is. And so they are able to manage it."
Anyone who knows me knows I never do anything the easy way :)
Tom is still Tom. LOL Nothing changes with him! We're hoping that within the next six months or so we'll be getting orders to leave San Antonio, but we're not really counting on it. Other than that, nothing much as happened with him.
Onto news about the pregnancy. For those of you who haven't already heard, we found out that we're having another little girl! We're both really excited about this, even if we can't agree on a name. I will be posting a poll to see what name everyone likes best, but
I honestly don't think we're going to pick out a name until she's born... that's how torn we are with the names. Things have definitely leveled out as far as how I'm feeling. I'm still sore, but that's to be expected. I have also found that I am no where near as hungry as I was at the beginning of this trimester, so I'm hoping the weight gain starts slowing down a bit.Other big news about the pregnancy is that we officially hired a midwife to deliver this baby... at home! That's right. We are having this little girl in the comforts of our own home. Our midwife's name is Salli Gonzalez and her website is Empowerment Birthing. There is a lot of information to view if you want to check it out. If we lived farther away from a hospital in the event of an emergency I'd probably not be as comfortable with our choice to have a home birth, but honestly I'm not worried. I know to some it seems new age to have your child at home, and for a long time, that was how I felt too. Now... it feels like the best option and most natural way to have this baby. There will be a birthing pool in the event that I choose to deliver in the tub, or even just as a source of pain relief. I asked a lot of questions about how to prepare Ellie, and what to do about our animals, and the germs in the house, and how to clean before the baby gets here, and what vaccinations I'm going to need, and the list goes on and on. In a nutshell, I'm in good hands. I will go into more detail in the coming weeks, with articles included to help back up what's
being said, and hopefully help people see that I'm not absolutely crazy! LOLI was reading an article on NPR about giving birth at home, and this is one of the quotes from the midwife that I love:
"People talk about how painful contractions are because they're so strong. But what we want woman to know is that the strength of that contraction is the strength of their own bodies. They are as strong as the contraction is. And so they are able to manage it."
Anyone who knows me knows I never do anything the easy way :)
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