I've been reading up on a book my mother bought for both my sister and I to help with child rearing. Its the Supernanny's book. I have gotten some decent ideas, but I've also realized I'm doing a pretty damn good job too :) My mother didn't buy us these books to tell us that we needed help bringing up our children, but more as a helpful resource. I think, and I think I can safely speak for my sister as well, that our parents did a great job bringing us up, and preparing us. Although some of their methods are methods we pick and choose from, I still feel as though I am who I thanks to their guidance, if not entirely.
As child-less adults we have these huge expectations of what our children will and will not do. They will eat all their vegetables. They won't make a ruckus in the grocery store. They will be exceedingly polite to their elders. We see the families with loud and obnoxious kids and think, oh, my child will never be like that. Why don't they just... (fill in the blank)?
And then we become parents. There is no manual. There is no one holding our hands telling us what to do when YOUR child is unruly. There is no one there looking over your shoulder, giving you a pat on the back to say, great job. Its all instinct. Its all the wisdom from your family. Its the sympathy of other parents. No one can understand what it's like to be a parent until you are a parent. Its that simple.
As we look at our infants sleeping, we think, wow, how did this happen? Why did God choose to bless me with this beautiful child? How am I going to do this? Will a be everything I need to be for this child? The simple answer? Yes. God knew you could do this, and wanted you to experience your own child. He wanted you to know true selfless sacrifice. He wanted you to know how to love more than you ever thought possible.
During those first few months, we're exhausted, hungry, and sometimes resentful. And then you watch your baby smile at you for the first time. Or you see her roll over for the first time. Or you listen to her babbles as she "talks" back to you. Yes, you don't get to sleep until whenever, or for as long as you'd like. Yes, feeding an infant is time consuming. Yes, you can't go out and do some of the things you want to do because you're a parent now. But ask yourself... Isn't it all worth it? You know, deep down, the answer will always be yes.
Fast forward a few months, and they're walking... no running! How did this happen? Just a mere two months ago, they could barely crawl, and now they're running from you? You're having to use "no" more often. You're learning that you are completely and utterly wrapped around that kiddo's little finger. Now you're worried, am I spoiling her? How do I know when to deprive her and when to give in? They have no idea they're being spoiled (at least not yet). They are still ridiculously excited about every toy, every treat they get. They are loved, and that's all that matters.
You get to witness this little human being discover the world. You get to see how they interact with all the things we take for granted, like the feel of soft, cool grass between your toes on a hot summer day. You get to see the pure amazement in a child's face when they see the colors of the clouds. You get to hear the pure joy and glee coming from a child's innocent laugh as a dog licks her cheek. Parenting is a blessing regardless of anything else.
As they grow, so does their independence, their individuality. How many times have I found myself looking at the clock, thinking, is it bedtime yet? How does this child keep going? I never had that much energy! A lie, I know, but I don't remember it! Toddlers/Preschoolers have a growing vocabulary, that includes backtalk. How you discipline your child is personal. Do you choose timeouts, or spankings? Do you exclude them from activities? Do you ignore it and hope the unwanted behavior goes away on its own, hoping its just a phase? I've done them all! You are the only one who has to be with your child for extended periods of time. What you and your partner decide is the best approach for disciplining that child is what you have decided. As long as you're not physically or emotionally abusing your child, you don't have to defend your choice. Sometimes you realize that one approach was working for a while, and now its not. You adapt. You make it work. You establish that you love them, but that you are still in control. Hard? Without question. My child is sometimes an angel one hour and a little imp the next. There are so many questions that come from bringing a child into this world. Most answers are found through trial and error. Listen to the suggestions and advice of those before you. Take them seriously. Never listen to someone when they tell you you're a bad parent. Let the grandparents be grandparents. Let them love watching you go through the same things they went through with you. Take it with a grain of salt if you must.
But always remember, its always worth it. Always remember, the love you feel for your child cannot be broken. Always remember, you're child loves you too.
Also, just wanted to point out that this is all just my opinion of things. I don't study children or parenting. I'm experiencing this whole thing just like the rest of you. I just had a few things on my mind that I felt like writing about.
