I've noticed recently that I have put a lot of effort into what I've been journaling. I'm not really sure why that is though. I know part of it is that I'm just getting it done. But I also feel that its coming to me easier. I don't think I have to think nearly as hard as I did at the beginning of this journey to find things I'm for which I'm grateful. Even with everything that has happened to my family circumstances, I can still turn the day to end positively. I didn't think I'd ever be that person. My overall balance is finding its way, and it's making me feel... relieved. I don't feel all the pressure I felt a mere three and a half months ago. I don't feel all that anger and negativity. Making a point to find at least one positive thing that occured to me on any given day as put innumerable things into perspective. This is by no means to say that I don't have any negative thoughts (more like frustrated thoughts) or that my life is cruising down easy lane, but I am much more accepting of the things that are happening to and around me.
I've thought about taking a night's journal entry, and just venting. Getting out all of my frustrations. I was thinking that maybe getting it all out would help me face it and learn to accept it. Other than that, it seems more like I just need to whine. Every time I go to write something down that was bothering me for the day, I turn it around, or delete it entirely. I put a positive thought in its place. Dwelling on what bothering me is and what I can't have, just builds the negative thoughts. I'm realizing nothing is worth sitting around and being mopey. There are so many glorious things that happen in any single day, it feels like wasted energy not to focus on those things!
So tonight, I'm grateful to have come this far on my journey.
“The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”
-- Don Williams, Jr.
Good night.
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