I decided that now's as good a time as any to get some of my fears out in the open... facing them, if you will. Before I get into that though, I thought I'd share how life's been for the past couple of weeks.
School is starting for me next week and I'm anxious and excited all at once. I've had a number of people ask me why I didn't take this semester off, and honestly, I know me. I know if I stop, it'll be another year or two to pick it up, and I'm only 14 (possibly 16) credits away from my associates degree. Why would I stop? Oh yea, needing to deliver a baby and all that jazz. Yes, that would stop a normal person. I'm not normal. I like difficult. LOL We'll just call it a challenge. Honestly though, I thought long and hard, and involved Tom immensely in this decision. Of my four teachers, three of them I had last semester, and I even included them in this decision. I've scheduled my classes to miss as few as possible once the baby comes, and I have already arranged to have someone help me with her while I'm in class, finishing up the semester. I'm going to be dog-tired, but it'll ALL be worth it in the end.
I do have some unfortunate news to relay. Tom's grandmother, Betty Hill, passed away only a few days after we left Washington. Tom is dealing with her death in his own way. We haven't told Ellie yet, and it's mainly because we don't really know how to, and we don't know how to answer her questions yet. Ellie and I will not be able to attend her memorial, but we're hoping Tom is at least able to go. She was an absolutely wonderful woman and I feel honored to have spent what time I did spend with her.
Hmmm, what else before the fears??? Oh! We picked a name for our little girl. Amelia Jane, Amy for short. I feel bad for Tom though. He was dead set on Samantha Paige, and then he basically had the name chosen for him. After a little 'conference' with his parents and me, he started to think that Amelia is a very nice name too! Of course, he says he likes the name now!
I'm not going to go into much detail about my fears right now, I just want them out there. These are just the top three, and they are in the order that I fear them... Feel free to comment as you will...
1. I won't have the stamina it takes to endure labor
2. Something will go wrong
3. Tom will not be here
Tell Tom I'm with him - I liked Samantha better too, but I also like Amelia.
ReplyDelete1. You have no choice but to find the stamina to endure labor - women have been doing it for ages, so stop worrying about it. It's hard, but you can do it.
2. Something can go wrong, but don't think that way - something can go wrong in every situation. Be positive.
3. Since this is a possibility, you have to prepare for it so you aren't taken by surprise.
Love you, Mom