The First Day of a New Prespective

I read in a magazine once how a particular woman "destressed" in the evenings. She kept a "Gratitude Journal." That's my goal. I've found myself being over pessimistic with life in general, and that's no way to lead a healthy life, or set an example of for my daughter. I'm going to focus on the positive things throughout the day and record them here. My goal is to do this every night before I retire for the evening. It will be the last things I'm thinking about before I head of to bed. With an upcoming forced separation, keeping a positive outlook on what's going on around me will help me get through each day without Tom physically by my side.

I'm also turning my focus back on God. I feel as though I've left him until when I need Him. Yes, I know He's there for me regardless of my lifestyle or prayer practices, but I feel guilty. I'm not promising to make mass every sunday, but I am going to turn my life over to Him more. I owe that to Him. He's given me strength and wisdom when I needed them so much. He's given me the opportunities to grow and learn and become a person that would make anyone proud. I've felt so out of balance the past few years, and I truely believe that my floundering faith is the reason why. I've been trying to control everything, from the moment I wake up, to when I'm about to sleep. I'm turning my trust onto Him and letting him lead me again.

So to start the year off right, the first thing that comes to mind for me to be grateful for would be the way that Tom has learned to handle Ellie. I know that he's still not as comfortable with her as I am, but I've got much more experience and trust with her than he has. The fact that he is trying so hard to be there for her, as her Daddy, not just her Father, is hitting hard on me. Watching him step up more and more every day make me feel that he wants me around. I'm grateful for my husband and everything that he's been doing to make our family stronger.

Today is done, tomorrow is another one. Let us be patient and sympathetic to those around us, and keep God in our hearts.

Good night.